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Life Lesson
by Jon Grander
Vice President, Asset Management
Brown Shoe Company
On November 5th, 2012, I lost one of the most important
and influential people in my life, my Dad. His name was
Lloyd George Grander and he had a great 82 years, and I
was able to enjoy my life by being part of his. As my
sister and our families met with the Pastors to prepare
for his Funeral, we naturally migrated to all of his
accomplishments. Whether it was his Masters degree from
Rutgers University, his 30 plus years of being treasurer
of the local Rotary Club or being a principal and
educator for over 40 years, we were proud of what he
did. When we had exhausted everything we could about his
career, memberships, and other accomplishments, the
Pastor asked two simple questions:
1. What do you remember most about your dad, in other
words, what are you going to miss the most?
2. What makes you smile when you think of him?
Those two questions had a profound impact on me and my
thoughts shifted. Two things came to mind when I thought
about the first question. First was his faith. My
parents were both very active in our church throughout
their lives. This was more than just attending Sunday
service. They were involved in making our place of
worship a better place. He did whatever it took, and
sometimes, just whatever my mom wanted. He was service
oriented and even though he touched so many lives, he
was always very humble. Second was his love. My parents
were married for 56 years. They truly were that couple
that still held hands every day. Although years had put
wrinkles on their faces and skin, they still looked at
one another like it was the first time. The love they
had for one another was beyond something I could put
into words. His love for my sister and I, as well as our
spouses and children was something I’m not sure everyone
gets to experience, but wish we all could. The love that
he had was also shared with the relationships he had
with people he came into contact with. As we were
telling people about my dad’s passing, I had the
opportunity to contact his college roommate, (My dad
graduated college over 60 years ago but maintained this
relationship). Of course his roommate was sad about the
news, but shared some memorable stories I had never
heard before.
As I thought about the second question, it was obvious
that my dad’s sense of humor was the thing that made me
smile. He had a very funny sense of humor and would use
it to tease people. While some things he said may be
considered unfiltered, people that were receiving the
teasing loved it because it came from dad. Not sure how
he got away with some of the things he said, but I came
to realize that they knew how much my dad cared for
them, so it was never taken as offensive or in a manner
that made people feel badly. Back when he was a
Principal, his students would go out of their way to
pass my dad in the hall so they could get teased. It
made them feel special and connected with him. At my
dad’s funeral one of the nurses at the Assisted Care
Center he resided stated that my dad always asked how
she was doing. She acknowledged being teased
relentlessly by my dad, but followed up by saying that
each time he asked her a question like how she was
doing, he meant it in the most genuine manner. I also
found out after his death he was known to give his
treasured flashlight collection, generously to night
shift nurses so they’d be safe going to their cars at
night.
Like many of you, I have read countless books and
articles on leadership, management, and personal
development. Sometimes the most meaningful things in
life don’t come from books but from experiences and
people that you interact with day to day. When I think
of my dad’s life, he lived the life I aspire to live. He
had faith, love, integrity and purpose. He valued people
and genuinely cared about the people he interacted with.
Imagine how differently we would conduct our day to day
business with questions similar to the ones the pastor’s
asked me... what do you enjoy most about the people you
work with everyday? Do you ever tell them that or would
you wait to eulogize them when clearly it’s too late?
What makes you happy about your job and life? Do those
two things compliment or conflict one other?
My dad was a great man, and I will miss him greatly. As
he was a teacher in his career, he also taught me some
of the most important things about life. To pay his life
forward, it’s an honor to share some of his memories
with you and our LP Community. My thought challenge for
you is to reflect on the two questions above as it
relates to you. How do you want people to remember you
and what do you want them to smile about when thinking
of you? What’s your life lesson? |
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